Will ‘Forgive’ really set you free?
We all hurt
None of us escapes the harsh or unintended words of another.
Some carry the scars of physical abuse in their every action.
Raise your hands if you were hurt by someone in the past?
See, as unique as we think we are, no one on this planet needs an introduction to the term 'hurt'.
Let's delve into the origin of the word 'forgiveness'
British Dictionary definitions for:-
for - Positive
preposition
intended to reach; directed or belonging to:
intended to belong to, or be used in connection with:
suiting the purposes or needs of:
in order to obtain, gain, or acquire:
(used to express a wish, as of something to be experienced or obtained):
British Dictionary definitions for:-
for - Negative
prefix
indicating rejection or prohibition:
indicating falsity or wrongness:
used to give intensive force:
How could we have been so wrong?
Did you notice that the word 'forgive' bears a negative meaning - 'used to give intensive force'!
Forgiveness does not change the past, but it does change the future.......
HERE IS THE TESTIMONY OF A FORMER VICTIM OF ABUSE
"I never understood the word FORGIVENESS. It always brought forth an uncontrollable rage deep inside of me. One day I stumbled onto forgiveness and actually found myself forgiving my abuser. My life changed after that day. I was no longer a victim! I no longer lived in fear! I was free from my abuse. There was no longer a cycle of abuse to pass on to my children. My forgiveness ended abuse with my generation. Forgiveness is Freedom. Abuse will hold you as a victim until you find a way to forgive. FORGIVENESS IS NEVER ABOUT YOUR ABUSER. Forgiveness gives the abuse back to your abuser."
So, how do we 'forgive' to be set free?
First off, we need to change our "FOR's"
- The falsity, intensive anger, the label of 'victim' is not ours. It belongs to the abuser, the accuser, the sharp-tongued loveless person.
"FORGIVENESS IS NEVER ABOUT YOUR ABUSER"
- We need to literally use the Positive meaning of 'for·give' and give our hurt back to the one who caused the pain.
"Forgiveness gives the abuse back to your abuser."
We need to understand that FORGIVENESS is an act
- To forgive requires something of you, no one else!
"I stumbled onto forgiveness and actually found myself forgiving my abuser."
- You have to let go.
"I no longer lived in fear! I was free from my abuse.."
To 'Forgive' does not mean you are weak
- To forgive someone who has intensely hurt you takes strength.
"Abuse will hold you as a victim until you find a way to forgive."
The weak can never forgive.
Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong.·Mahatma Gandhi·To 'Forgive' does not take away any of the actions
- Forgiveness does not excuse their behaviour. It prevents their behaviour from destroying your heart.
"My forgiveness ended abuse with my generation"
Forgive yourself
- It was never your fault.
- Forgiveness is the greatest gift you can give yourself.
"Forgiveness is Freedom."
What about you?
Have you ever felt the need to forgive to be free?
Forgiveness is not only about abuse - it can be in the form of so many wrongs:
- Maybe someone killed someone you loved, or
- Stole from you; or
- Accused you;
- Hated or disliked you for no reason;
- Were jealous of you;
- Spread false stories about you;
- Cheated on you;
- Hurt your husband, child, parent, grandchild.
Just one word of advise: Forgiveness is a decision.
But sometimes, just something small can trigger all the hurt again - don't entertain it. Get rid of that feeling the moment it surfaces.
Do something nice and treat yourself.
Good luck!
