While others fear that their marriages can end in divorce, my only fear is that my beloved will pass before me and I know, it will leave me totally devastated!
I have been on this journey for 32 years this year and to let you in on my tips, I will share the following:-
If it is plane sailing, enjoy it - there is normally a calm before the storm.
When you have a private moment, use each second!
Have special rituals - we bathed together and sorted all our finances and other issues away from the children. (If you are wondering why we don't do it anymore, we don't fit in the tub!!)
Hold hands, smooch on the couch - always show affection. Just don't overdo it in public.
Fun and game days
Use humor in the bedroom, in the kitchen, everywhere!
Keep a balance in everything.
Never go to bed angry.
Always say goodbye.
Share moments - just catch his eye in the 'crowd'.
'My family is my all' - treasures
Make time and create a relaxed atmosphere to 'get to know' each other again.
Make sure you are understanding each other.
Don't think you know what he is saying - make sure.
Have fun doing things together.
Create events to look forward to.
The 'I hate you' moments
Don't ever say something, that is not true.
Keep your families out of the issue.
Stick to the problem.
Do not get personal - ouch!
Never be disrespectful, it hurts.
'Come here you naughty boy' hours
The wise Peter said - "Women, enjoy your husbands!"
Surprise him with a naughty invitation!
Make him want to have you.
Plan a date night, send the kids to gram's, make time for you as a couple.
If he is too tired after work, make him get up in the morning with a new tread in his step!
And for Pete's sake, if he is getting older or on medication that interferes with the workings - get some pills!
You are sitting on your purse - he will buy you those nice shoes/necklace after a good performance!
He is a hand full!
Men, o men - he can not keep his hands off you! Enjoy it, you are still doing it for him.
When he lies on the floor to look at your panties - give him something to look at!
If he is not 'eating' at home, would you want him to order takeaways?
Be cautious when he is not affectionate.
He literally 'jumps' at each opportunity - enjoy the good, strong, young years. The days will come when you wonder if he still has a penis!
Till death do us part - promise
Give it your everything, every day.
Remember why you fell in love with him in the first place.
Do something special for him each day.
Talk to him.
Best of all, listen to him.
He is your first love, don't let the kids get in the way.
'I don't want to talk about it' - rants
Give each other enough space.
Don't try to change him.
You chose him because you liked what you saw, appreciated his qualities - the very reason you fell in love with him.
Don't give up on each other.
Don't avoid the issues.
'I don't want to go home' - cries
You made the bed, you will just have to sleep on it!
Work it out and work it through, it is the only way.
Face the demons and get if over and done with.
'We had a fight' - confessions
If you can not remember why you had a fight in the first place, it is not worth being miserable anymore.
You have to clear the air sometimes but don't mess with a clean house!
Don't look or cause trouble.
You are so normal - it happens in all marriages.
His family / My Family
His family is just as important to him as yours is to you.
Try to laugh about the family's idiosyncrasies.
Never make him choose between you or his mum.
You accepted him the way he was, why change?
If all else fails, consider moving away (as a family)!
You may want to read my inappropriate take on mother-in-law!
'I am sorry...'
The hardest words to say to your loved one, but so necessary.
We all need love and understanding.
He does have a heart, remember.
'I made a mistake'
It is hard to admit if you have made a mistake (any mistake), but you owe it to your partner to clear to coast.
Work on a solution, not a separation.
'Will you forgive me?'
I am struggling with this, to this day. The more your practice it, the easier it becomes.
Always give your reassurance that you love him, regardless.
If it is really dark around you, keep your eye on that moment, the both of you will melt.
Make-ups are magic!!
'I need your support in this, please'
You are equal partners, in all.
Make him feel that he is the best man in this world!
Show your support to him as well.
'We are so different, is it ever going to work?' - whispers
Opposites attract - that is the spice of life!
You are two who has become one, always remember that.
'Please give us wisdom Lord' - prayers
The best advice I received on our wedding day, is still with me today:
"I don't wish for you a good marriage,
I don't even wish for you an extraordinary marriage,
I do only wish for you, a marriage in Christ....
That is all you will ever need..."
'You have told me about it already' - and other irritations
Don't get bitchy, it is never going to solve anything or make him understand you better.
Treat him the way you want to be treated.
Act like a lady (except in bed).
Never argue in public or in awkward places - like at dinner table.
Keep your cool, I know it is hard.
'Let's take a pic'
Take pictures of all your special moments!
Keep a journal of family treasures and special moments and sayings, you forget....I promise.
Remember to take picture with guests at special occasions like kitchen-teas, storks etc.
Back-up and store your pictures appropriately, in more than one place.
Respect each other in all that you do.
Don't sound like a leaking tap!
Yes, stop moaning.
Don't ever be shy of him. He is your first choice - always keep it that way.
Don't hide stuff from each other - not even your shopping expenses (be wise here..)
Spoil him with his favorite dish, something he likes (my hubby is a sweet tooth), buy him a nice shirt or just a magazine that he enjoys reading.
Show your love.
Make him part of your day - tell him the good and the bad.
Practice good personal hygiene.
Absence makes the heart grow fonder but limit your time away.
I do believe that men love with a stronger intensity than woman. They are just wired like that because they focus on less fluff.
Always remember your manners.
Be the best wife you can be.
What about you?
How long have you been married and what advice would you want to add to the list! Please leave it in the comments below.
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